Pipeline: Striking Oil, Not Gold

I'm trying to figure out why director Ha Yoo and his co-writer Kim Kyung-chan included a subplot involving two cops in their thriller Pipeline. The central story, which involves a motley, underground crew siphoning oil from two major subterranean conduits, is more than enough. The film already has the tensions that come when a bunch of desperate oddballs unite to execute a major outlandish crime: Drill-bit (Seo In-guk) has too much ego; Mr. Na (Yoo Seung-mok) has cancer; and Shovel (Tae Hang-ho) has brawn without brains. There's even a rivalry between Drill-bit and the team welder Jeob-sae (Eum Moon-Suk) while the questionable loyalties of the sole female gang member Counter (Bae Da-bin) also factor into the story. Another narrative thread is hardly needed.

Indeed the driving drama doesn't rely on the lawmen but instead on an evil benefactor &3151; the insanely greedy, insanely in-debt Gun-woo (Lee Soo-hyuk) who promises exorbitant amounts of cash if this gang can pull of his wackadoodle oil heist. As for the cops (Bae Yoo-ram and a not-so-memorable sidekick), they come with a back story and goofy demeanors that suggests they're the comic relief. Laugh, I did not. Nor did their presence distract me from the nonsensical aspects of anyone trusting Mr. Moneybags at his word or an involved bit of trickery that allows this criminal crew to outwit their despotic funder with a karmic water bomb.

Bogotá: City of the Lost: The Crimes of Alexa

I stopped watching Bogotá: City of the Lost after two previous attempts to get through it a few days ago. After picking up where I left off once again today, I quickly remembered why I lost interest. This beautifully shot but not-even run-of-the-mill crime pic about a young Korean man (Song Joong-ki) who masters the art of international smuggling when his family movies to Colombia feels as though it were written by an A.I. program. "Siri, please create a crime pic screenplay for Korean actors that will appeal to an American Netflix audience with potential Latin American appeal. No actresses needed."

Then the computer brain drew from its unlawfully acquired files of Narcos, the films of Kim Song-je (who directed this), and hundreds of other scripts which can't be named for legal reasons, drew on its translation programs for Spanish and Korean, and in a short order pumped out this mess. The intelligence then cast actors Song (so good in Frozen Flower), put an English mustache on Lee Hee-joon, and asked Kwon Hae-hyo to phone in a slimy performance as the movie's head thug. Once all the pieces and people were in place, a robot voice shouted, "Action." But what it really should have said was "Cut." Someone forgot to tell Siri, that the shopping mall is no longer central to the American dream.

P1H: The Beginning of a New World: Pop Your Preconceptions

I think I can safely say that P1H: The Beginning of a New World is one of the weirdest movies I've seen in a long time. An apocalyptic flick in which legions of drones from the star Alkaid (the end of the handle in the big dipper constellation) are injecting humans with a zombie sperm that makes people muderously rageful, this cockamamie sci-fi fantasy has more loose threads then an Anne McCaffrey trilogy. [If you know, you know.] We've got a bullied tween girl (Lee Chae-yun) with a talking teddy bear; a high school breakdancer (Hwang Intak) granted immunity by a razor cut to his neck; a pair of amnesiac frat boys (Yoon Kee-ho and Choi Ji-ung) who gain superpowers courtesy of a charmed ring and a magical wristwatch; and an airhead (Haku Shota) who can destroy a killer drone with a well-aimed brick when he's out of bullets.

Not all these characters exist within the same timeline; unless, you consider the ability to time-travel means everyone lives everywhere all at once. [The Butterfly Effect is not explored!] Hardcore K-pop fans may notice that there are six characters who share the same names -- and the exact likenesses -- of the six members of the boy band P1Harmony. This is not a coincidence. [Spoiler Alert] Writer-director Yoon Hong-seung's action pic increasingly feels like a crazy, convoluted music video promo for a perfectly good reason. It is one! Come the final scene in which all pretense of this not being an advertorial is discarded, you might expect a big choreographed pay-off. Instead, P1H goes to black. Roll credits. Dark magic in a way.

The Flesh-Witness: The Mark of Colonialism

Installation artist Kyuri Jeon's The Flesh-Witness is one of those short experimental documentaries that packs the punch of a feature-length film. The movie is built in part around Korean War footage sourced from the United States' NARA (National Archives and Records Administration). This seems worth mentioning because the clips are so damning regarding America's role during that conflict that I doubt that the current administration would allow such images to be released. Specifically, The Flesh-Witness recounts the enforced tattooing of Korean P.O.W.s with anti-communist messages as a way to spread pro-capitalist propaganda and make a return to North Korea untenable for the soldiers.

Watching scenes of often shirtless young men being disinfected and shorn prior to getting tattooed calls to mind atrocities like Auschwitz and Dachau. But unlike WWII, the Korean War isn't the story of Yankee rescuers, despite how some history books have tried to spin it. The Flesh-Witness reminds us that what brought American troops to the 38th latitude wasn't the liberation of the country from Japanese occupation but rather a fear that communism would take hold in this East Asian country which was being helped by Russia and China. Neo-colonialism and xenophobia, white supremacy and capitalist imperialism were the driving forces for General MacArthur and company who literally branded those with more personal allegiances once victory was at hand. Shameful.

The Eunuch: How Deep Is Your Love?

Poor Ja-ok (Yun Jeong-hie)! The man (Shin Seong-il) she loves has been castrated by her power-hungry father and she's become the number one concubine for the lusty king (Won Namkung). The king, for his part hopes she'll provide him with a male heir to thereby help him usurp his conniving mother, the queen (Yun In-ja) — whose got an active sexlife of her own. For a movie called The Eunuch, Shin Sang-ok's historical drama sure has a lot of genital action, from state-santified rape to MIA erections to exhibitionism and enforced voyeurism.

The head eunuch (Park Nou-sik) knows all the gossip. The medical eununch (Park Sang-ik) spills the tea on the most illicit court behavior in the castle. But this period piece doesn't culminate with savage whispers. Instead, there's mass murder and a battle that reaches its luridly reddest peak when the unexpected hero gets an arrow shot right into his left eye. After all the shafts to the heart, this deadly wound reminds us that love may hurt but weapons kill. That and poisoned drinks served by the bowl. Abortion, you have found your agit-prop movie.