Idol: Two Dads, Too Many Crimes

Who's the good guy in Idol? Is it the unflappable politician (Han Suk-kyu) who argues against a nuclear power plant despite being the Chair of the Nuclear Power Plant Committee? Or could it be the melancholic single father (Sol Kyung-gu) who masturbates his mentally ill child up through adolescence and beyond if given the chance? It's certainly not the former man's son who's guilty of a hit and run or the latter man's sister who runs a massage parlor staffed by sex workers. Don't rush to a decision too quickly yet either because in classic noir crime fashion, writer-director Lee Su-jin is going to do a bit of a switcheroo midway through the film. I suppose it's to keep our interest. But for me the turnaround left me baffled. Despite running well over two hours, Idol feels like it's missing a few scenes that would justify one guy's fall from grace and another's lift into it.

If you're willing to put up with the big bump in the road, Idol is pretty engaging with a central femme fatale (Chun Woo-hee) who causes destruction everywhere that she goes. She's got a curse on her, a system against her, a sordid history, and an acute sense of smell heightened by an active pregnancy. Her scenes with the politican's ice-cold mother (Kim Seong-nyeo) are especially charged because neither of these two actresses are afraid to chew scenery. They're the true stars of Idol, bad guys and good guys notwithstanding.

The Killer: A Girl Who Deserves to Die: Best Babysitter Ever

I don't remember many of my babysitters. I don't think I had that many. Maybe my parents didn't go out that much. I know for sure they never went on vacation without my brother and me so when two middle-aged women go on an extended girl's vacay and leave the mercenary boyfriend in charge of the troubled teenage girl (Lee Seo-young), I can't securely say that what follows is utterly preposterous. Maybe mom and dad never left us alone because there really are predatory crime rings ready to abduct bourgeois adolescents then sell them into underground sex rings. I do feel pretty sure that if an attempt had ever been made in that regard on my older brother and me, none of the babysitters we had would've been able to defend us like Bang Ui Gang (Jang Hyuk) of The Killer: A Girl Who Deserves to Die.

Then again, good help has always been hard to find as evidenced throughout Choi Jae-hoon's bloody action thriller. How else to explain the way the thugs keep coming at the film's protector despite his ability to stab, shoot, and karate chop an elevator full of attackers. Does no one think, "Hmm. Rushing this guy with an axe might not be the best strategy." Very few. And most of those guys aren't very smart either. Well, fear makes you dumb. It does me. Those who don't feel fear — like one bleached blond bruiser (Bruce Khan) and one dirty cop (Lee Seung-joon) — won't necessarily fare better than the scaredy cats. Because the only thing that's going to save you in The Killer is a guy like Bang Ui Gang. Great hair. Patrician overbite. No competition.

Midnight Runners: Boy Cops

Gosh, I wish one aspect of Midnight Runners were true: A parallel dimension in which cute nerdy guys want to become cops not because they are sociopathic bullies but because they're dorks hoping to save the day. But Kim Joo-hwan's action comedy is unfortunately a fantasy. And one I enjoyed spending 90 minutes in! Who wouldn't be charmed by a student police officer who adlibs the three principles for an investigation as "passion, tenacity, and big heart"? Innocence versus criminality? Of such are some myths made.

Headlining this idealized vision are a pair virgin law enforcement agents-in-training (Park Seo-joon and Kang Ha-neul) who witness a teen abduction then spend a night going from a seedy spa of female ear-cleaners to human-trafficking warehouse specializing in egg harvesting. Clearly, Midnight Runners isn't all fun and games. Our two young cadets are being asked to grow up fast and, somewhat preposterously, put themselves through an intense personal, physical training regimen that has them ready to physically take on a whole gang of 'hoods (and their supervillian leader) after a mere few days. I wasn't expecting realism though. In the eternal fight between good and evil, I expect a little hyperbole. With Midnight Runners, I frankly relished it.

The Pirates: The Last Royal Treasure: Thievery at Sea

Before The Pirates: The Last Royal Treasure, I had no idea that seawater made Korean hair kinky too. Director Kim Jeong-hoon's action-adventure of pirate treasure-hunting is like a public service announcement for wavy hair: Self-assured captain Hae-rang (Han Hyo-joo) sports lush, loose, loopy tresses worthy of a romance novel's cover; doublecrossing Mak-yi (Lee Kwang-Soo) flaunts a long, tighter coil that relaying streetwalker realness; and lead rival Moo-chi (Kang Ha-neul) goes even further with a friz that simultaneously sun-damaged and salon-permed. The only bald character that shows up is a female monk who's shave her head and dies without uttering a single line.

And what would a holy woman even say if required to suck air underwater out of an inflated urine-flavored pig-bladder? What wisdom might she discover? She might say that material wealth shouldn't be the ultimate goal in your life. She definitely would proclaim that pirate garb tends to look like a themepark costume in every single movie. And with The Pirates, she'd recognize that there's no life-saving miracle as theatrical and outlandish as getting swallowed by a giant whale moments before you're about to drown. Except getting burped out afterwards.

Tune in for Love: Not a Static Romance

Now that my boyfriend has gone abroad for three months, I've become much more open to seeing the long-resisted romantic movies that normally make me cringe. Oh yes. Since my own lovelife is confined to Kakao video chats, I'm desperately seeking out sappy Korean movies, feel-good fables of the heart, each sneakily awaiting to make me cry. This week's treacly panacea is Tune in for Love, Jung Ji-woo's '90s-era tale of a high school girl (Kim Go-eun) who meets the dream-thug (Jung Hae-in) at the bakery run by her surrogate sister (Kim Guk-hee).

She's an orphaned aspiring writer; he's a high school dropout fresh out of juvie. Will they find happiness together? If so, she'll have to find a better job than her factory gig and overlook the overtures of a smarmy boss (Park Hae-joon). And he'll have to stay out of prison, land a radio gig, and deduce the password code she gave him so they could stay in touch during his military service. In the world of movie romance, these are not insurmountable obstacles. Wedding bells aren't a shoe-in, however. Hence the box of tissues I'd advise you to bring.