January 14, 2012

Yongary, Monster From the Deep: Godzilla Looks Korean, Speaks English

If you saw the end of the world was at hand, what would you do?

A. Drink yourself into a stupor.
B. Thrash wildly in a lasciviously lit nightclub.
C. Gorge yourself on barbecue.
D. Run down the street with a panicked crowd while balancing a steel bucket upon your head.

Yongary, Monster of the Deep presents all these options but personally, I think when Armageddon arrives, I might just stay home and watch a trashy monster flick. If there's anything that uplifts my spirits and makes me feel slightly superior, it's a good, old-fashioned B-movie with a giant lizard rampaging through a built-to-scale model city devoid of people and populated only by toy tanks, toy cars and toy helicopters. That it's dubbed in English, speaks to the universal need we feel to find simple answers to world-class problems. And what a number of solutions present themselves! Which leads us to our next question...

How would you combat an unstoppable, ginormous reptile that spits fire, shoots laser beams and growls like a dinosaur?

A. With missiles that look like big tubes of lipstick.
B. With an ammonium precipitate concocted in my private lab.
C. With a laser beam that's both a toy and quite deadly.
D. I wouldn't. I'd leave that to my boyfriend and watch him kill the silly old thing!

While each of the above approaches is used, a ten-year-old brat named Isho is actually the one who figures out Yongary's Achilles' heel through careful observation, made peeping around corners or from under manhole covers after running through the city's sewers. He's also the one who feels some sympathy for the creature when Yongary comes to a spastic, bloody end. You see the two have bonded through the magic of dance. Young people understand what's really universal. As to Yongary, here's the final question...

What's the difference between Yongary and Godzilla?

A. He's Korean.
B. He's got a horn on the tip of his nose.
C. He drinks oil and gasoline for his energy drinks.
D. All of the above.

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