City Ninja: Two Men Who Never Meet

In a martial arts movie like City Ninja, which of two rival heroes do you hope to win? Is it Jimmy (Casanova Wong), the South Korean kickboxer whose red underwear shows when he splits the crotch of his white pants mid-fight on the roof? Or Hong Kong's Wang Li (Michael Chan), an international boxing contender who can high-kick in white slacks without getting them ripped at the junkyard? Undecided? Then evaluate the two men as lovers. Jimmy can make his woman orgasm under red light, in shadow, and in the mirror. Wang Li pleasures one woman on an assortment of gym equipment, including a rowing machine. Still torn? How about considering how they'd spend a big chunk of change. Jimmy wants to use the cash on a wedding; Wang Li wishes to open a gym. If you're not feeling particularly keen for either, don't worry. There are other people who'll stop at nothing to get those coded necklaces suspected to unlock untold riches.

There's the mob boss mistress who gets pregnant and attempts to force Wang Li to run off together at gunpoint. There's the mafioso's second banana who has aspirations of being in charge. There's also the gang of black-cloaked ninjas who, in old times, could vanish in a flash of light; and who, in modern day, throw silver balls that release puffs of blue and red smoke. (The movie's opening scene takes place decades earlier and apparently, in the ensuing years, these masked mercenaries have lost some magic powers.) I suppose you don't have to pick a winner. This film isn't about winners. It's about losers who fight incredibly well while also looking sexy when taking a shower.