Shoot Me in the Heart: What Makes a Movie Gay?

Though it retreats from a satisfyingly manly kiss at the end, for me, Shoot Me in the Heart is definitely a gay romance. The two leads — a bad boy (Lee Min-ki) with violent tendencies who's been institutionalized by his greedy stepbrothers and a long-haired semi-mute (Yeo Jin-gu) who everyone at the psych ward refers to as "Miss Lee" — definitely have a courtship of sorts going on as the dom of the relationship constanty flirts — and even climbs into bed — with the same-sex sub who eventually comes around to his handsome bunkmate's charms. Even those around them — hospital staff and crazy inmates alike — recognize they were made for each other!

But can these two caged lovebirds survive the physical brutality of this particular institution? Will electroshock treatments leave them brain-dead and, in one case, blind? Can they possibly escape to freedom and what might they do when they're finally out? Instigate conga lines to Chubby Checker's "Let's Twist Again" at the local karaoke club? Mun Je-yong's love story might not lead to the desired lip-on-lip action (or grip-the-hip either) but it could've and should've. Who wants to discover they're best friends instead of friends with benefits? Not me! One wonders whether the censors came into play or the director had homophobic mass appeal on his mind. It's possible the screenwriter didn't know his own inclinations but at this point in the 21st century, I wish the unapologetically queer story weren't resisted. We're well past that. Succumb. Succumb.

Hwayi: A Monster Boy: Save the Green Mobster-in-the-Making

A crazily brilliant, intentionally twisted logic informs the mob pic Hwayi: A Monster Boy, an off-kilter sensibility that I was pretty sure I recognized about 15 minutes in. At least I hope I recognized it. I mean, could it really be that the creator of my beloved Save the Green Planet! had finally made another movie after all this time? Had that elusive director I'd long credited for my love of Korean movies finally reappeared? And is it truly possible to recognize an auteur's style that fast, based on one movie alone? Happily, the answer to every question here is YES.

Ten long years after Save the Green Planet! rocked the midnight screening of my soul, Jang Joon-hwan has returned with an exhilarating coming-of-age mafia movie in which the heir apparent (Yeo Jin-gu) must off his various adopted dads to rid himself of his inner demons. Each dad has something that makes him special: Seok-tae (Kim Yun-seok) is all tough love, Ki-tae (Jo Jin-woong) gives him driving lessons that include outrunning the police. Each dad loves Hwayi in his own special way but they’re also carrying a terrible secret, one that will make the son quite a bit less thankful for the sacrifices made.

Hellbent on uncovering that secret is a wily detective, who – much like his counterpart in Save the Green Planet! – may be the smartest guy in the room but he also as no idea that the room he's about to enter is a chamber of Hell. It’s as if Jang is saying that even when a representative of The Law is working at the top of his game with the best of intentions, the cards are stacked against him. The survival of the fittest is not the survival of the smartest. Darwinism has nothing to do with being ruthless or crafty – as one mobster (Yoo Yeon-seok), one masseuse (Woo Dong-gi), one minister (Lee Kyeong-yeong) and one mayoral candidate (Moon Seung-geun) are about to learn in short order. Life's a total crapshoot. Or better yet, a game of roulette. And in Jang's case, that's Russian roulette, my friend.

Sad Movie: Your Life Is Going Down, Down, Down, Down, Down

What strikes you as the most pathetic? A young boy (Yeo Jin-gu) who wishes his mother (Yum Jung-ah) would stay sick since she's so much nicer since she's been hospitalized? An unemployed guy (Cha Tae-hyun) who makes money getting punched at the local gym? A young woman (Shin Min-a) who won't take off the head of her Raggedy Ann costume because her face is badly burned? Or a woman (Lim Su-jeong) who can't get a marriage proposal from her firefighter-boyfriend (Jung Woo-sung)? Before you decide, please consider the potential for things to get much worse. Indeed, director Kwon Jong-kwan's bittersweet Sad Movie sets up these four woeful tales then intertwines them as he has them race towards the bottom of a pretty deep well of sorrow. So while the boy's mother will get better (temporarily), and the jobless dude will become an entrepreneur (of sorts), no one will escape the cruel hand of fate. See life as tough today? Just wait for tomorrow! I suppose a few of the characters learn something about loving others and accepting themselves while experiencing their personal tragedies but they don't seem better people for it, only bruised. Picture the ways your life can go wrong. Now live it. Or don't think about it and live for today.