2015 Dream Concert: K-Pop for Hours

Aside from some promotional copy recited by various cute-as-a-button co-hosts, 2015 Dream Concert is a tightly edited document of the 21st annual K-Pop revue held in Seoul World Cup Stadium before what appears to be a largely female crowd. Serving up song after song after song with strict choreography, this film is a great introduction to the best bubblegum pop from Asia. In fact, it's so good, it deserves some awards.

• Most Innocently Crude Lyric: Red Velvet ("Ice Cream Cake") for "The ice cream that’s on my mouth makes your heart pound..."

• Laziest Lip Sync: 9 Muses ("Drama")

• Funnest Choreography to Teach Friends: CLC ("Pepe")

• Tiredest Look Made Fresh Again: Oh My Girl ("Cupid") as cheerleaders

• Readiest for a Tim Burton Video: Topp Dogg ("Top Dog")

• Least Convincing Chemistry: Elsie and Ki-o ("I'm Good")

• Worst Choreography: Elsie and Ki-o ("I'm Good")

• Most Assured Incorporation of White Shorts: BTS ("I Need U")

• Most Awkward Incorporation of White Shorts: Secret ("Magic")

• Boldest Use of Stripes: VIXX ("Love Equation")

• Best Use of Pajama Wear 4Minute ("Crazy") for the sleeveless AFFECT shirt

• Most Ready for an 'N Sync Tribute: EXO ("Call Me Baby")

• Favorite Overall: SHINee ("View")

The only thing missing for me was Girls Generation.

I AM.: SMTOWN: B-Bring The Boys Out

Random notes after watching I AM.: SMTOWN, the promo/doc/concert from S.M. Entertainment — the South Korean company behind the teeny bop sensations f(x), Girls' Generation, H.O.T., SHINee, Super Junior, TVXQ, and the queen of K-pop herself, BoA.

My preference for dark hair knows neither gender nor ethnic boundaries. My affection for really nice haircuts is unaffected by hair color.

Bubblegum pop may be reaching its apex in South Korea. I am currently listening to "Sorry, Sorry," "The Boys" and "Genie" on repeat.

All young famous people go through a crisis during which they ask "Is that all there is?" and "Who am I really?" then realize "It feels good to matter to so many people" and "Geez, isn't it nice to be popular."

Do not belittle the time and labor that goes into being an international superstar. These performers work hard (and have since they were pre-teens).

Am I hanging out with the wrong people? And if not, where are all my friends who want to recreate Toni Basil's "Mickey" video or SHINee's "Lucifer"? No more food pics. We're wasting time!

You can't beat a really nice sweater.

I'm not interested in what you think the main differences are between your stage persona and your real self.

I'm going to listen to K-pop to learn the language. That'll work, right?

I look forward to the day when ALL men and women dab their eyes when they're emotional because we're all wearing mascara.

God, I need a new outfit.