Project Silence: Dogs of the Future

Anyone who thinks the massive car pileup on the airport bridge is the worst thing that's happening to them in Kim Tae-gon's Project Silence has some bad news coming their way. And it's coming on four furry legs. Because the military has been breeding CGI attack dogs who, through a series of unfortunate events, are now on the loose with a single objective: Kill! Who's in danger of getting chomped? A slimy political operative (Lee Sun-kyun) and his much more caring daughter (Kim Su-an), a professional golfer and her possibly lesbian assistant/lover (Park Hee-von), the long-haired, fire-breathing tow truck driver (Ju Ji-hoon) and his cute little pooch Jodie... Who's going to save them? Not one soldier with an armpad and a taser. And probably not the crazy scientist / mad doctor (Kim Hee-won). That seems clear.

Throw in a rescue chopper that crashes into the bridge's suspension cables, a fire that breaks out on the escape route, and a tanker full of toxic gas, and you've got all the makings of a classic disaster movie. Except the hero is a total asshole. Even when the worst happens, he's still needlessly endangering people, still thinking about how to spin a catastrophe, still pretending he's got the matter under control, even if that means lying, lying, lying. Well, he's made a career out of lying. Why would he stop now? It takes alot of horrible things to get him to reconsider the choices he's made in this life. Does that make the movie more misanthropic or more realistic? Your final assessment may rest on the choices made by one presidential candidate (Kim Tae-woo). Or not.

The Neighbors: A Real Nail-Biter

Everyone knows that taste is subjective and personal yet how do we classify those movies that we really like that we know aren't "good" by the criteria that we'd normally apply? Especially when we can't deny how much these films are entirely to our liking? I'm not outlining a "so bad it's good" scenario. This is more like "flawed but still in favor." Personally, I was enraptured with Kim Hwi's serial killer thriller The Neighbors even as I knew I'd have a hard time defending it if another viewer started citing all the things that this movie does wrong. Does the little girl (Kim Sae-ron) who gets murdered have a terrible wig? Oh my god, yes. Does her prolonged psychological torture make us feel icky as moviegoers? I'm afraid that's true too. Does the actress (Kim Yunjin) who plays her grieving stepmother overact? Repeatedly so. Is the running bit in which a magpie keeps meddling in human affairs come across as a bit far-fetched? For many, I'm sure it will. And yet...

Sometimes, it's fun to have a bad guy (Kim Sung Kyun) who projects hair-raising creepiness with constantly dead eyes; and a cheery delivery boy (Do Ji-han) who can solve a violent crime based on the timing of when the pizza pies are ordered; and a suitcase salesman (Lim Ha-ryong) who can lick a combination lock code into place with his nimble tongue; and multiple instances of people pretending to be on the phone and then having those same phones ring! Plus ghosts seeking posthumous justice! And for those who won't watch the nailbiting Neighbors for all these reasons, there's at least the presence of a less bulky Ma Dong-seok, in an earlier phase of his career, stealing every scene in which he appears. So you can pretend that's the one reason you really like it.

The Girl Raised as a Future Daughter-in-Law: Ye Olde Bride

Who's the meanest woman in town? The mother-in-law (Han Eun-jin) in Choi Eun-hie's The Girl Raised as a Future Daughter-in-Law is surely a frontrunner. Category: Shrew. She's what an overly generous contemporary might categorize as a Conservative, an overbearing woman who's constantly complaining, arguing, demanding, and, insisting that her son's bride-to-be (Choi Eun-hie) submit to their future household per tradition. And just how mean is this nasty woman? Well, when the fiancee-in-waiting gets sick, new mom banishes her from home and hearth. Marriage prospects, be damned.

Lucky for our rejected woman, all the townsmen are relatively kind. Did I mention this film is a fantasy? Her working class ex (Park Nou-sik) seeks to buy her out of servitude. The clownish servant (Seo Young-choon) will meow like a cat to give her a helpful distraction. Her goofy father-in-law (Kim Hee-kap) hires a blind fortuneteller to speak on her behalf. And her betrothed (Jang Won-bae), a boy young enough to be her child, eventually defies the mean mother. Will these collective efforts shift dynamics quickly enough? After all, the prospective groom has yet to hit puberty so this arranged marriage may leave him with a new wife (nee former babysitter) about to enter menopause.

As far as age appropriate casting, Choi may have miscast herself in the female lead in her directorial debut. Yet such a decision probably ensured her the necessary financial backing. To her credit, The Girl Raised as a Future Daughter-in-Law abounds with lovely touches. Some are amusing: The young boy can't untie his sash so he pee along the road. Others are sweet: This same kid offers his ailing love a piece of taffy after she's drank some bitter medicine. Delicious!

A Woman Judge: What's the Story Here?

Someone recently asked me what distinguishes Korean film. What makes it unique or special? To this, I replied: "It's penchant for turning on a dime." Hong Eun-won's wild A Woman Judge is a prime example. Initially, this 1962 movie seems to be a formulaic flick about a bright young woman (Moon Jeong-suk) fighting against societal -- and family -- expectations as she pursues her passion to be an adjudicator with an eye on the sisterhood in society. Then the movie shifts out of social justice mode and becomes about a sister-in-law (Bang Seong-ja) obsessed with getting a piano and undermining the female judge, even going so far as to set up her brother, the judge's husband (Kim Seok-hun) with a desperate, unmarried secretary (Eom Aeng-ran) who works for her feminist father (Kim Seung-ho) at the construction company. When batty, banana-crazed grandma (Bok Hye Suk) dies, however, the whole feel and focus of the movie changes once again as we're propelled into the courtroom for an old-fashion murder mystery, with the former judge as lead lawyer.

To be sure, your enjoyment of A Woman Judge demands your openness to dropping one genre (melodrama) for another (thriller) then another (courtroom drama) without judgment. Nothing is wasted as you go from one to the next: The sexist doctor-boyfriend (Park Am) will return as a helpful old friend; the disowned, addict child (Chu Seok-yang) of the mother-in-law (Yu Gye-seon) will resurface to disastrous results. Luckily, our now retired lady judge will put all that hard-earned legal training to good use when the situation demands it. Footage may be missing yet A Woman Judge is still three films in one.

Humint: Human Intelligence Vs. Meth and Sex-Trafficking

"If you open fire, there's no turning back."

That's the kind of statement that would immediately be followed by gunshots in an American movie but in the Korean pic Humint, Manager Zo (Zo In-sung) opts to follow orders by turning his pistol into a bludgeon so he can singlehandedly take out a gang of thugs while also rescuing drug-addicted sex slave Soo-rin (Joo Bo-bi). But has he actually saved her from the jaws of death? Hint: Pretty early on, Ryoo Seung-wan's crime flick refuses to adhere to the standard formula. Even the setting for this human-trafficking and meth-dealing thriller is out there: Russia's Vladivostok.

It's also got two dueling heroes instead of one: The other is North Korean operative Park Geon (Park Jeong-min) who's getting into all kind of trouble for his double agent girl Seon-hwa (Shin Sae-kyeong). Their most visible enemy is franky iconic: a bleached blond Russian pimp (Robert Maaser) who wears a fabulous striped fur coat and keeps his captured women in bulletproof glass cases on wheels. This movie excels whenever it kicks into action mode, whether its martial arts or gunfire. But initially there are too many long stretches without punches, bullets or car chases. That one fight involving Agent Im (Jeong Eu-gene) and Park slamming into the railings of a multi-level staircase is worth the price of admission alone...or in this case, Netflix streaming. The prolonged final shootout is killer, too!