They Met on the Taedong River: An Educated Public

I have a friend who visibly recoils whenever I mention seeing a North Korean film for this blog. I suspect she sees my covering such movies as tacit endorsement of fascist politics — clearly she hasn't read the reviews as I'm hardly a bully pulpit for Kim Jong-il. But while I won't deny the merciless fanaticism of the hermit nation's dictatorial government, I'm also aware that, during my lifetime, no country has done more harm to the planet itself than the U.S.A. so there's something perverse about pointing a finger at Pyongyang while sipping soda through a plastic straw in a plastic bottle then shrugging indifferently as profit-driven corporations bottle up natural resources for pennies. One can be critical in both directions.

How is this relevant to Kim Kil-in's They Met on the Taedong River, a preachy North Korean romance in which two couples — one old, one young — must overcome various obstacles before they can marry their chosen ones? Well, it's a film that understands that class bias must be combatted for change to happen, and that youth are the future so their needs should be prioritized. A cooperative spirit informs the action throughout They Met on the Taedong River — which plot-wise is admittedly contrived and unconvincing. Say what you want about its simplicity, the movie at least has a higher goal than mere entertainment. I'll be the first to argue in favor of art that searches for something deep over propaganda but They Met on the Taedong River is a schmaltzy reminder that overall the American cinema is dishearteningly escapist at a time when so many important issues need to be addressed.

I too laugh at the decor, the fake performances, the outdated camerawork, the too-tidy endings. But I am equally skeptical that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen or Star Wars: The Phantom Menace are inherently better simply because they have big budgets and impressive receipts.

Centre Forward: Team Spirit, Party Unity

Do they make TV movies in North Korea? It sure feels like it from the hour-long Centre Forward, a black-and-white sports flick from co-directors Kim Kil-in and Pak Chong-song. I mean it can't be just slogans and speeches and statistics and anthems all day long, can it? And what else would the patriotic mothers watch on their televisions if not a locally broadcast soccer match as the athletes — their sons, of course — prepare to take on the world? Sure, they might catch a sweatily rehearsed, smilingly executed dance performance featuring one of their daughters (which they delightedly do) but nothing beats gathering with the other soccer moms for an afternoon game in front of the telly. And yes, granny knows all the lingo. Sports are a national past time in the Hermit Nation, too!

And what of the team itself? Will rookie player In-son (Kim Choi) get in good enough shape to start again after a disastrous first showing? Will his dorm mate and longtime veteran Chol-gyu (Choi Chang-su) commit himself to the rigorous training regimen or rest on his laurels? Will the coach (Pak Tae-su) inspire the players to push themselves past previous limits and commit to party loyalty? There's a wonderfully sadistic training scene in which In-son kicks balls even as his body collapses under the glaring arena lights at night but much of Centre Forward is mundane and less intense. Despite its shortcomings, the movie nevertheless has a rousing game at the end in which the old guard steps back at half time so that the new guard can take the field and win the game. You know victory is a given but it's hard not to get caught up in the spirit of it anyway. Score! Score! Score!

Where to Watch: You'd be surprised how many North Korean movies are on YouTube!

Hong Kil Dong: Spaghetti Eastern

South Korea's Golden Age of Cinema doesn't date back to the 1980s so you can't fault their North Korean brothers for cranking out equally subpar fare during that same decade. Hong Kil Dong (1986), a martial arts fantasy—that plays like Robin Hood without the tights or the joy—registers as some sort of Eastern variation on the Spaghetti Western. Times are grim. Corruption is rampant. It'll take a special kind of man to reinstate a semblance of justice...or at least to settle the score. Doors may slide instead of swing, men may kick instead of horses, but the bandits still cackle, the punches still land with a smack of pleather, and the sound of the flute eternally signals that the hero is somewhere nearby. Is director Kim Kil-in as close to Sergio Leone as Pyongang is ever gonna get? Probably. Because even if outright communist propaganda is kept to a merciful minimum, the didacticism, the xenophobia, and the anti-individualism still bleed through. The title character isn't so much a loner as an outcast; his victory isn't his own so much as one shared with "the people." The closest you'll get to sexy is an orgiastic birth scene at the beginning. Clearly making new soldiers is the best a person could hope for in this life.