Bogotá: City of the Lost: The Crimes of Alexa

I stopped watching Bogotá: City of the Lost after two previous attempts to get through it a few days ago. After picking up where I left off once again today, I quickly remembered why I lost interest. This beautifully shot but not-even run-of-the-mill crime pic about a young Korean man (Song Joong-ki) who masters the art of international smuggling when his family movies to Colombia feels as though it were written by an A.I. program. "Siri, please create a crime pic screenplay for Korean actors that will appeal to an American Netflix audience with potential Latin American appeal. No actresses needed."

Then the computer brain drew from its unlawfully acquired files of Narcos, the films of Kim Song-je (who directed this), and hundreds of other scripts which can't be named for legal reasons, drew on its translation programs for Spanish and Korean, and in a short order pumped out this mess. The intelligence then cast actors Song (so good in Frozen Flower), put an English mustache on Lee Hee-joon, and asked Kwon Hae-hyo to phone in a slimy performance as the movie's head thug. Once all the pieces and people were in place, a robot voice shouted, "Action." But what it really should have said was "Cut." Someone forgot to tell Siri, that the shopping mall is no longer central to the American dream.