Bogotá: City of the Lost: The Crimes of Alexa

I stopped watching Bogotá: City of the Lost after two previous attempts to get through it a few days ago. After picking up where I left off once again today, I quickly remembered why I lost interest. This beautifully shot but not-even run-of-the-mill crime pic about a young Korean man (Song Joong-ki) who masters the art of international smuggling when his family movies to Colombia feels as though it were written by an A.I. program. "Siri, please create a crime pic screenplay for Korean actors that will appeal to an American Netflix audience with potential Latin American appeal. No actresses needed."

Then the computer brain drew from its unlawfully acquired files of Narcos, the films of Kim Song-je (who directed this), and hundreds of other scripts which can't be named for legal reasons, drew on its translation programs for Spanish and Korean, and in a short order pumped out this mess. The intelligence then cast actors Song (so good in Frozen Flower), put an English mustache on Lee Hee-joon, and asked Kwon Hae-hyo to phone in a slimy performance as the movie's head thug. Once all the pieces and people were in place, a robot voice shouted, "Action." But what it really should have said was "Cut." Someone forgot to tell Siri, that the shopping mall is no longer central to the American dream.

Miss Baek: Not Without Her Daughter

Mothers rescuing their children... That's nothing new. What's rarer is mother's rescuing other people's chidren. Which is what Lee Ji-won's harrowing melodrama Miss Baek is all about — a disturbed, antisocial workaholic (Han Ji-min) who, when she isn't rejecting her patient boyfriend (Lee Hee-joon), is befriending a destitute little girl (Kim Si-uh) whose gamester daddy (Baek Soo-jang) and his sadistic soulmate (Kwon So-Hyeon) are abusing their young charge with a viciousness that'll make you gasp. Failed by her neighbors, the cops, and the local social service agencies despite obvious evidence of torture, poor ragamuffin Ji-eun has taken to the streets in search of food scraps, a decent change of clothes, and a sympathetic word.

What a relief to see her get all that and a trip to a seaside amusement park. With her scarred legs, knotted hair, and butchered pinky finger, this kid should be set up with the Make-a-Wish foundation for seasonal check-ins and rewards. Cinderella has nothing on her. Plus, she doesn't need a pumpkin to change into a riding coach or a nest of mice to transform into footmen. As for her gritty fairy godmother, Miss Baek lacks the bippity-boppity-boo to make such large-scale miracles come true. Limitations notwithstanding, this new self-appointed guardian recognizes Ji-eun needs a new family, even if it scares the shit out of her to get involved. So what might this non-traditional family look like? To its credit, Miss Baek avoids the obvious feel-good answer. Life can get better. Here's the caveat: You've got to put yourself out of hell.